Catching Up

It has been a long time since I Blogged, but reading through my old post i feel like such a insecure guy, but at the same time like i have a chance to succeed because i newer have given up on people. right now the same girl who did not want to marry me, wants to marry me it is also strange, her feelings for me changed only when there was another girl involved and no i did not cheat even thou she might say it other wise because that made here kind of want me more and not take me for granted, i know, strange but it seems like it happened, also i am not insecure about my looks any more because i decided to try modeling and put pictures on modelmayhem.com and actually got a lot of comments and offers to model. i am even have gotten more secure about my self meaning i really do not care what girls think because now my actual thoughts are they want me. I know this might sound strange but since i have gone through some troubles like a lot people have, but it seems like i have gotten out with information, i kind of try to be nicer to people who go through the same stuff and maybe offer an advise or offer my DVD's from David D Angelo to my friends because they kind of remind me of my self at that time when i was unsure of my self. i know it took me a long time to understand people but now i feel happier in the end and much shore of my self, that i can actually concentrate on studying and maybe talking to friends, instead of what is she thinking of me and why she is doing that and this. Now my thoughts are more like i will let her do this, feel better about my self that i am not doing it and deal with the situation on the way of deciding, was it wrong of here and what would a calm put together man would do. For first he definitely would not join the emotional railroad and he would stay calm and analyze the situation from a side view and decide how bad was it can you just let it go and is it something what nobody should not do to anybody.

P.S. Sometimes i fail to stay calm because i am human, but i have gotten better at this and it was what i have been striving from the very start.