starting off. These realizations happened to me from the moment my girlfriend asked for my password for the myspace and she for exchange offered her password - to my self I thought that sounds like a horrible idea because I knew what I gonna find and she will not beer the truth about it when I gonna say those things. well that basically happened and I am becoming that kind of guy who does not care about what the situation is I will speak my mind if she does not like it - oh well. from the beginning of the relationship I always thought that if I broke up with someone I could not find someone else that was the reason why I newer broke up with someone in the past I just left not saying a word and dated someone else, but I guess it is not truth. I do not feel that way anymore. what I fell right now is that I newer in the past have used my looks because people who are just pulled in to my looks do not care about you they just care about them selves. oh well I guess I have to start use my looks someday might as well be from now on, who knows maybe I could become a model if that does not succeed who cares nobody cares about your success maybe that is not true in there minds or words but that is true in there subconsciousness. That is just a way how humans are. We want to succeed or selves, we only care about or own feelings ( proven by the recent words - you could have said them some other time not when we had a good time) and if someone feeling good they will put you down at least try if you let them well that is your own fault, your reality is just not strong enough to withstand there realities of them selves.
one more things I am probably starting to think like it seemed as some person did in words "what love got to do with it" - maybe I am confused about love or maybe everything just resolves around sex who knows but I know that I am tired to be seen as just pees of meet who can be showed around used and who knows maybe discarded later on I am not scared of being discarded any more since it has been proven to me there will be always who will want to chew on you again it all depends how hard they chew is what will make you feel good.
if someone reads it who cares this blog was created with true intentions and it will continue like it as in the past I have known that when you are week people want to say in you your face that you are week or even agree with you in the minds that what person who I know have done in the past meaning that big part of what I have heard in the past was a lie or just attempt to make you stay when they thought I did not want to ( that was not true) I just hate finding truth of that people have lied to me. and will not bare that in the future that is just not what I like it is better to just say the truth and take the consequences than to lie and that made me decide when someones lies to me From now on I will just leave the room and wont say the reason why because they do not deserve to know the truth themselves any more at that moment at least
Hope you enjoyed reading a lot of this was just created of over all bad feelings and confusion - if you can not handle the truth you can not handle me I do not care what will be your reason to lie in the future if you do that is just not for me
these were my inner thoughts and feelings at the moment and I do not care if I have to respond to the consequences of these thoughts I am just putting my thought to any body who wants to read them and judge me or share this is your own decision and choice have fun with that.
