defying gravity

yesterday I thought that if I write this blog it will be full of sorrow and maybe anger, but thanks to my brothers words " It is stupid to expect or want what might or will not happen anyways". Those words kind of throw me of balance, in the good way thou . I am also thankful to those words because as the song "Defying Gravity" reminded to me it is foolish to expect something of future happen on its own when all the signs say something else. No matter what you wish future to hold. the other person wants to live there own life in there own way because it is to hard the other way.
foolish as it is I know one thing what will affect my future and that is when I am ready to move on to a next level of my life and when the "reason" for the person I will want to move forward with me says why she cant, is hear family or heirloom( all good things, but not good reasons enough for me) . The choice will be made at that moment. Why am I so rash, probably, because what host lets invited or uninvited guest go in the rain with out offering a ride or just throwing out of the house like unwanted pet. I don't know but what I do know I will be sad , if the reason is money or family. Since I am not trying to convince anybody to be with me when they make there own choices on there own. If it is to hard for them they can always find some help somewhere else. As my professor said " 99% of time people list reasons not an excuses and when you start thinking that they are excuses you need help". Professors words were like a hammer on a nails head - point on, what else can I say. In one of David DeAngelou news letters he said that it is stupid to expect a younger women to be with you in years to come, reason why he said, is that she will change, and hear life most likely will not be with you. All you have left to do is accept the faith, guide and not worry if she most likely will not be with you anymore because she will live to her fool est potential and you will be left as a mere memory in her mind in years to come .
It is sad, but what can you do, well at least it makes me lost, and confused. Most likely because I am so young myself and naive at the same time. All I have left to do is accept the fate, even if I don't know what it is.